A Simple Way to Respond to Difficult Dementia Behaviors

Uncategorized Jul 07, 2019

Hey there Careblazer, 

Today I want to share with you a simple way to respond to your loved one with dementia when they are upset, angry, having delusions, insisting on something that’s not true, and any other wide variety of behaviors that are difficult to handle and that you feel at a loss for how to respond. 

If you would rather watch my video on this topic, click here

We already know that trying to argue, reason, rationalize with someone with dementia usually does not end well. You and your LOWD are typically left with even more frustration than there was in the beginning. So what else can you do? 

Many Careblazers have great success with responding to the emotion behind the words and not the words themselves. 

Let me give a few examples, 

Let’s say your loved one keeps sayings someone is stealing their things and is insisting someone came in and stole their glasses. When you try to tell them that no one stole their glasses, that they...

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Avoiding the Urge to Convince: How to Communicate Your Careblazer Journey with Others

Uncategorized Jun 23, 2019

Well hello there, Careblazer. Welcome back. In last week’s post I talked about how to deal with other people’s opinions of you and how you care for your loved one with dementia (click here for that video). 

Today, I want to talk about the desire or urge to get others to understand what you are going through. I think these two topics are very closely related and can cause a lot of stress, guilt, and frustration for the Careblazer. To watch my video on this topic click here

Okay, let’s get started.

I sometimes get questions from Careblazers asking me how to get their family members to understand what its like being the caregiver. Usually that kind of desire is from a need for others to offer help, offer sympathy, or just offer support. Totally understandable. It’s hard to go about this alone.

Families can be hard and when dementia is involved it can be especially hard for families to come together. In many situations, there is usually one main...

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Other People's Opinions of You as a Dementia Caregiver

Uncategorized Jun 16, 2019

Hi there Careblazer,

Welcome back. Today I want to talk about other people’s opinions on your caregiving situation. If you would like to watch my video on this topic please click here. Let me know if any of this sounds familiar.

You are thinking of placing your LOWD and people tell you that you shouldn’t do it. He doesn’t seem that bad. He won’t get good care. You can keep doing it.

People who talk to your loved one tell you they don’t seem all that bad and start to look at you as if you are exaggerating everything. She seemed fine when I talked to her on the phone.

People tell you what you should be doing differently.

To make things worse, many times the people who are telling you these things are actually family members or friends and that is hurtful. It leads to feeling angry, guilty, and a whole bunch of other negative emotions.

You may even feel judged like people think you are selfish and not doing a good job caring for loved one....

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Careblazer Q & A

Uncategorized Jun 09, 2019

Welcome back Careblazer! Today I want to answer some of your questions. I receive a lot of questions from Careblazers and unfortunately I can’t answer them all through email or comment responses. Most of your questions deserve more than a few sentence response so that’s what today is all about - Careblazer Questions.

If you have any questions, all you have to do is leave them below any post. I go through them all and you might just see your question answered in a future post.

If you would rather watch my video on this topic, click here

This post is sponsored by my Care Club- It’s a private course dedicated to improving dementia caregiver stress & improving your interactions with your love done with dementia. It’s a way to start living a life you feel good about again. I believe strongly that it is possible to value yourself and do a wonderful job at caring for your loved one with dementia. If you want to be alerted to the next time this course is...

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Turning Anger into Compassion: How to manage anger when your LO ruins something

Uncategorized May 26, 2019

Welcome back Careblazer, I hope you are doing well!

Today, I want to talk about something that can help turn anger toward your loved one into compassion. If you are like many of the Careblazers I know, then your LOWD has probably done things to drive you crazy, make you upset, maybe even straight up angry. It’s normal, you are human, and it will probably happen again.

What I want to share with you is a way to think about some of those situations differently so that instead of sitting in that anger, festering in that frustration, and ruining your whole day, you can find a way to move forward and make sure things don’t get worse.

If you would rather watch my video on this topic, click here.

Remember how we’ve talked about how your feelings impact your actions and those actions will impact your loved ones behavior. This means that staying upset and angry carries a greater chance of your loved one becoming upset and having more challenging behaviors and the last...

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Dementia Look Alikes

Uncategorized May 19, 2019

Today I want to talk about some common conditions that happen in older adults, that can look exactly like dementia, but it’s not dementia. The danger here is that if everyone just assumes it’s dementia, it can cause you and your loved one to be living lives that are significantly below the quality of life that you both can have.

If you would rather watch my video on this topic, click here

Sometimes as people age and start to show signs of confusion and forgetfulness, it’s easy for people to just assume they are having thinking problems, or the beginning stages of dementia when in fact it can be something entirely different. So let’s go over some of the common culprits.

 

DEPRESSION

Older adults who are depressed often present with symptoms that look exactly like dementia. They may be forgetful, lack energy, not shower/change, stop doing basic responsibilities such as paying bills. Their concentration may be poor. And so on. Counseling and in some...

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Guilt about Enjoying Yourself while Your LO is in a Nursing Home

Uncategorized May 19, 2019

 

Hi there Careblazer, welcome back. There’s been a theme lately inside my care course that we’ve been spending some time talking about during our live Q&A sessions and I want to talk about it here as well since I’m guessing many of you can relate.

It’s about guilt...specifically guilt about putting a loved in a nursing home while you get to enjoy life. One of the course members talked about not being able to enjoy herself when she would go out to eat or to the movies because she feels such guilt for her husband who is in a nursing home. So I want to talk about this idea of guilt and difficulty enjoying yourself as a result of that guilt.

If you would rather watch my video on this topic, click here

Here’s the way I want you to think about this.

You already know from watching my past videos, reading past blogs, or from downloading the Careblazer Survival Guide that situations don’t create your feelings. So the fact that your LOWD...

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Dementia Caregiver Myths: 4 Caregiver Myths Stopping You From Living

Uncategorized May 05, 2019

Today I want to talk about some common self-care myths that are holding you back and keeping you down. I’ve been talking about this a lot recently inside of my care club for the members who are a part of my course and I wanted to share some of those details with you because, well I think they can help you re-evaluate your thinking about what it takes to take good care of yourself while caring for someone with dementia.

If you would prefer to watch my video on this topic, click here.

Many of you are ignoring your needs. You’ve basically put your life on hold to take care of your loved one and you are finding that you are down, sad, perhaps a bit resentful as you realize your own health and relationships have gone down the tube.

Well, even though this is common among caregivers, it’s really not okay to ignore yourself while caring for your loved one. I'm hoping this will get you to rethink some of what’s stopping you from caring for yourself and encourage you...

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Mild Cognitive Impairment vs Dementia: What's the difference?

Uncategorized Apr 28, 2019

Welcome back Careblazer. Thank you for being here. Today I want to talk about a question I’ve been seeing in the YT comments lately and it’s what is the difference between mild cognitive impairment (aka MCI) and dementia.

This is a bit technical on the exact definitions and what the healthcare community uses to diagnose but I’m going to try to explain it as simply and clearly as possible.

When we think about cognition, think about it on a continuum. We have “normal” thinking on one end and dementia on the other.

As a quick recap- there are many types of dementia. So on this end of the spectrum I’m talking about ALL the dementias- alzheimer’s, vascular, frontotemporal, lewy body, etc.

Here in the middle is what we call mild cognitive impairment. The official term is actually called mild neurocognitive disorder. Let’s go straight the source for the definition of both. Now when we talk about cognitive functioning, there are different...

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Dementia Caregiver Thoughts: Part 3-- Does Your LOWD Know What They are Doing?

Uncategorized Apr 21, 2019

Today I want to talk about a question many of you have that is causing you soooo much distress and emotional pain. The question is “does my LOWD know what they are doing?" Or “Is my LOWD doing things on purpose?”  

This is the 3rd part in a 3 part series focused on your thoughts and how your thoughts impact your mood AND your LO’s mood. This series has been something I’ve been working on with the members of my Care Course and I want to share some of that with you because I know it can be helpful. By really getting a handle on this concept and applying it to your life, you have the ability to greatly reduce the amount of your caregiver stress. I hope you have already started seeing the changes.

If you would prefer to watch my video on this topic click here

So for today: Is your loved one doing things on purpose? The things that upset you, make life harder for you, saying things that are hurtful, are those things on purpose?

These questions...

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