Nursing home? Do these 3 things!

Welcome back Careblazer! 

Many of you are faced with the possibility of placing your loved one in a care facility. Perhaps you already have, you plan to, or you are currently weighing your options. None of us become a Careblazer and wish to place our loved ones in a facility. In fact, it’s probably the opposite. You may have promised yourself or your loved one that you will NEVER place your loved one in a care facility, that you will keep them at home forever or for as long as you can.

But as many of you are aware, there are so many things that happen on this long road of caregiving and for some people placing their loved one in a facility is the best option or the only option. There is no judgement here. I think for some people it’s a great idea and for others it’s not. 

Here is what today’s post is going to talk about. I want to talk about the 3 things you need to keep in mind when you decide your loved one has to be placed. And for those of you who are swearing up and down that you won’t need a video like this, I hope that’s true. But because none of us can predict the future and I have seen over and over again families who have had to make this difficult decision even after they swore they wouldn’t, you may want to tune in for the next several minutes to hear these 3 steps.

AND, if you are like some of the Careblazers I know who made a promise to their loved one that they would never place them in a care facility only to eventually have to to that because of their own illness, decline, or unexpected life circumstance, I want to direct you to THIS video I did on breaking your nursing home promise. 

If you would rather watch a video on this topic, click here.

I know this is a difficult topic but that’s what this blog is here for. To talk about the things that are real, that are happening, and that most people are afraid, ashamed, or scared to bring up. These are the real things Careblazers like you are facing and this channel is going to talk about exactly those things. 

Okay let’s get to it. If you find yourself placing your loved one in a care facility, these 3 things are going to be super important for you to remember.

1. Know the reason you have decided to do this. People have strong opinions about this and none of those opinions will be coming over to your house to help you care for your loved one. So it’s important that YOU are really clear on your reason for placing your loved one because many other people will give you their reasons. It will be easy for other people's opinions to mess with your head if you don’t have this first step down.       
2. Like your reason. You have to like your reason. You don’t have to like the fact that you're doing it. You don’t have to the like the fact that your loved one has this disease. You don’t have to like the fact that you are not able to continue or provide the care at home. That’s not what I’m talking about here. I’m talking about YOU liking your reason for deciding to place your loved one so be clear on what that it. Perhaps your loved one isn’t safe to  live at home anymore or caring for your loved one at home was putting your job, your health, your marriage at jeopardy and you wanted to focus on those things. Maybe you wanted to be able to enjoy interactions with your loved one by just getting to be their son, daughter or spouse rather than the one providing all the hands on care.It doesn’t matter what the reason it. It doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks of that reason.  It just matters that YOU like the reason.     
3. Remind yourself of that reason. Listen, your brain and your heart will struggle with this decision. Especially when your loved one asks to come home, when they have a hard time adjusting to the facility, when they ask you to take them home, when other people judge you and tell you that they would never do that, when you visit your loved one and they don’t seem that bad so you question your decision. The list goes on and on and on. There is no shortage of reminders, events, comments, your own thoughts that will have you question and doubt your decision. And a lot of that is because your love your loved one and this isn’t a decision most people want to make or feel good about. It’s hard. So know that it’s totally normal for your brain to second-guess, question, and doubt. And each and every time that happens, you have to remind yourself of your reason for deciding to place your loved one in the first place. It’s easy to forget those reasons. 

Careblazers, I’m sending love to any one of you who are in this position. I’d love to know what else has helped you get through the process of deciding to place your loved one. What did you remind yourself of? How did you stay confident in your decision or work through doubt? Let me know in the comments below. 

I’ll be back next week with a new post. In the meantime, be sure to grab your FREE survival guide linked here and if you know someone who would  benefit from reading this blog, you can share it with them and let them know you’re thinking about them. 

Keep up the amazing work!