Hey there Careblazer!
Today, I’m going to share with you my favorite tip for handling other people’s opinions about your caregiving decisions AND I’m going to give you my 3 step process for deciding whether or not the person’s opinion you are worried about is even someone’s opinion you should consider. I hope this episode brings you a sense of freedom for all your future caregiving decisions.
As usual, be sure to download your free Careblazer Survival Guide linked in the description below this video to take your caregiving journey to the next level. I’ve put my favorite strategies for responding to difficult behaviors in this guide and I hope it can help you as it has thousands of other Careblazers. Okay let’s get started.
As long as you are interacting with other humans, you are going to face human opinions. Some of them can be helpful, some of them, MANY of them, not so much.
Here are the 3 questions to ask yourself the next time you are making a major caregiving decision and everyone seems to want to offer you their opinion.
#1- Does this person contribute, help, support me in any meaningful way in this situation?
If not- then it’s not worth spending time/energy worrying about.
#2- Has this person spent the time with your loved one to the extent that they would have a good familiarity with your loved one’s abilities- at minimum one full day (morning, night)?
If not- then not worth spending time/energy worrying about it.
Here’s the deal. There will ALWAYS be people out there to disagree, question, or straight up just be negative.
#3-Are you living your life and caring for your loved one to please others and meet others expectations OR are you living your life and caring for your loved one because you want to do what is best for you and your loved one?
Not doing what’s best for Aunt Beth or brother Joe. You are doing what is best for you and your loved one.
I think one of the hardest things about being a dementia caregiver is simply being confident and kind to yourself when you are doing the right thing for your loved one, even if your loved doesn’t see it that way and even when others don’t see it that way. Whatever decision you make, have your own back, Careblazer. No matter what other people have to say. In the end, it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks about your decisions. What do you think about your decisions? Do you like your decisions? So many Careblazers I talk to are making decisions out of fear and obligation which leads to a lot of anger and resentment. Make whatever decision you want, make sure you like your reasoning for making that decision and then have your own back in whatever decision you make.
It’s important that if someone who has supported you, has been involved in your loved one’s care, and does seem to be coming from a place of concern- we have to be open to hearing them out, listening to them, because no one knows all. We do the best we can but sometimes we miss things or sometimes we are so stressed about our situation or we are so close to the situation, we don’t exactly get to see the bigger picture. In these situations, it’s important to keep an open mind and hear considerations. BUT you’ve got to identify those who are just giving an opinion based on limited information and not putting in any of the time, energy, or care you are to even have a full informed decision.
I hope this has helped you. If you found it helpful, consider sharing it with someone you think it can help. My goal is to make sure that every single dementia caregiver has easy access to support and trustworthy information. You can help make that happen.
As always, keep up the great work and I’ll be back next week.